“It’s not your job to keep the peace of those who have caused chaos in your life. Your only job is to protect your peace and happiness at whatever cost.”
-Kristen Corley Lately, I have been working on healing myself. If that means sitting alone in silence for a while then I do that. If that means crying and feeling every emotion instead of lashing out then I do that. To my surprise, there was and still is a lot of clarity and perspective regarding my situation. You can’t change a person. Their behavior is their behavior but what can control is how I respond to things. What I can control is being the best mother I can be for my daughter. What I can control is what I will deal with and what I refuse to deal with when it comes to co-parenting. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”-Philippians 4:6-7 Lately, my healing has been on the spiritual side more than anything. I asked myself, “How can I heal from someone that I have so much hate and anger towards? How can I move forward with trying to co-parent if I have all this built-up anger towards this person?” I had to ask God to help me forgive the person who hurt me so much so that I could move forward in my life. And friends let me tell you this just because you forgive a person doesn't mean they can overstep their boundaries. Forgive them for you but still stand on business. See the irony in this? All more reasons why not to date her. “As bad as you wanna address it, sometimes it’s best to let God defend you. He saw it too.” -Someone's Instagram meme I have been learning what it means to let go and let GOD! I was the chick that used to be quick to respond to the internet beef. As of Lately, I can truly give two F’s of what someone said, did, lied, about me. I know the truth. God knows the truth. And truth be told some things are not worth even arguing about at all. Why give energy to a dead situation knowing it will disturb your peace? See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her.
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“Strong women don’t have Attitudes we have standards” -Marilyn Monroe
I chose me. At first, I thought how selfish of me to do this. I thought I was breaking generational curses. I thought I could really give my daughter something I didn’t have, a two-parent household. I wanted (well I thought he wanted it to) a family. But after reviewing the 9 months of my pregnancy, there were no fucks given on his end. So why after countless times of forgiving over, over, and over again should there be any remorse on my end? See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her. “Being a good mother while my entire world fell apart was the hardest role I’ve ever played” -Some Instagram Meme It’s hard enough being postpartum and trying to find yourself again. It was even harder during my pregnancy trying to gain a sense of my body changes and Hell! Even my lifestyle changes. I was the girl on the go before my pregnancy. I balanced two jobs, owning my own business, and writing books. I was (and still am) the one female who could get into any establishment or party I wanted to in Chicago. So you mean to tell the “Shots With Tati” girl all night who has to sit down for nine months? Not to mention with everything I have gone through postpartum set me back an additional three months. After all these phases, I am not the woman I was before and I surely can’t take the amount of bullshit from men I used to take before. See the irony in this? All more reasons why not to date her. “The Best Revenge is to Heal…nobody’s fkn with the healed you”. -Turtle Breeze ThirdEyeChrist It took a few slaps on the back of my neck from God’s sandal, and I finally found the courage to let that man go! It’s the whole stab in the back several times after I’ve had your back for me. I will never forget bartending at eight months pregnant, as big as a house because we needed money for bills. I will never forget the times he lied to my face about women whom he slept with or flirted with. I will never forget being so stressed in that house every day because I was worried about how we were going to make it. I will never forget sitting at the county jail for seven hours to bail him out. I will never forget him telling me how crazy and sick in the head I am because I caught him up with another lie. I will never forget me being sick postpartum with preeclampsia and him going to the gym not giving a fuck. I will never forget every single lie he has told people about us including denying our daughter. Somehow in all of this plus more, I found peace again. And once you get a taste of peace you never want to let it go. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why not to date her. “You choose therapy and healing. They chose to continue the toxic cycle with new people. Tell me again how you were the problem”? -Ash Taylor Friends, I know I haven’t written in a year. I think this journey has made me want to get back into something that I am known for doing. I lost myself in this past relationship. But I won’t lose what I desire with this parenting. I am happy with the choice I made. I’m happy that I am going back into therapy. I am happy with my new life. I heard co-parenting is hard and you must have thick skin. Well, buckle up friends because we are going on a new journey. And this time, there is no going back. See the irony in this? All the more reasons why you should date her again. |